Just another Tangent

Camron called and asked me to meet him at the pond to look at his new project. I did, and my first impression was of the moon landing. He was standing on the berm with a flag, and he saluted when I walked up. He has created a special Mario flag and wanted me to be there while he "made the dedication". Kilo barked the entire time so I couldn't hear everything, but did leave with some bewildering parts of statements:

"Mario invented golf. Well, first he invented the putter (for no apparent reason), then later he invented a little white ball, and when he had those two things, he thought of golf."

"All of us, even the dogs, have a little (of the) Mario personality in us. It makes us jump up and down and turn circles. And some of us have a little (of the) Luigi personality in us.

I apparently also have yellow mushroom personality and my sister has blue mushroom personality. Following the personality lecture, he described the last of the Grandfather Ridge Backed Turtles. It came to Earth in a space ship and three years after the first dinosaurs showed up, they killed the Ridge Backed Turtle - and that is why all turtles today have smooth backs. (???) He then tried for some time to plant his flag. Lots of hammering and no luck until he finally got it to stick in the herb garden. Later in the evening he called and invited me to a grand opening today. I can't be completely sure, but I think we are celebrating the opening of a portal to another dimension. I hope it isn't a dimension of bionical doom or anything else that will tie me up for the afternoon. I really have work to do.

What Has Happened With Water Guns?

I was in the yard and heard Camron asking him mom to have a water-gun fight with him. She didn't have time and I could tell by his voice that he was upset. I told him to fill the guns and I would meet him at the pond for some water-gun fun. I should have guessed it's a new game when the water guns looked like his robots, with big holding tanks, but was still remembering the 5 cent water guns of my youth that could only shoot a small stream maybe up to 10 feet away. He gave me a hefty looking gun with a malfunctioning water tank line, and drenched me with something that could hurl a large stream of water probably 100 feet. We could have just used water hoses. Anyway, the water felt good in the heat, and his mood always improves with even a little attention.

RockSquare - Official Poster

Camron said that I am lucky because when the band isn't booked I can listen to them for free. My sister was kind of concerned about some parts of the drawing of her in the poster but Camron explained that the odd looking bumps are her shoulders.

Hanging out with The Band

Camron and his Grandmother have started a band - RockSquare. They have only practiced one time and it was just my luck to see their first live performance, and have my camera. The performance was ... energetic and the only injury happened at the very end during Camron's air guitar solo. It started as a slide down the pond berm while strumming windmill power cords, then turned into a skid, then a stop, then a nosedive to the bottom of the berm. It was spectacular! And he was barely even skinned and bruised.

Breaking the Law? Not Always

I still haven't helped Camron with his projects, but yesterday evening we were talking and he said that he would bet me that Rat-dog couldn't be outside for more than five minutes without running across the road, and the winner would get to play with the Gold Robot first. Rat-dog didn't even last one minute.

Camron - "Dogs know one thing that humans don't know."

"What is that?"

Camron - "Dog language. When their friends across the road are barking they might be saying help, help, our doghouse is on fire!, but we wouldn't know it."

"I never thought of that before."

Camron - "They also know one more thing that humans don't know. If there is a girl dog across the street, they are going to go, and they don't even care what she looks like."

Roboticals? - No! Bionicals!

Camron has tried to connect with me all weekend. He has taken all of his bionicals apart and wants help assembling a super-bionical. I made arrangements last night to meet him by the gate at 8 AM. He said he would call and to not be surprised if he called real early. I worked around in the yard until he appeared at about 9.

Camron - "I've called and called and I think you missed eight o-clock"

"Well, I'm here now. Where are your roboticals?

Camron - "They're bionicals and I have another plan for today. Did you know that Chuey doesn't have a home?

"Yes. I heard that. (The people in the house down the road, where Chuey comes from every morning with a pack of chihuahuas, and goes back to every night, were told the other day to keep their dogs contained. They said that Chuey was dumped at their house and doesn't belong to them. They have never bothered about keeping any of their other dogs at home, and still don't, so they probably don't own him.) What do you have planned?"

Camron - "I'm staging that now (?), but I think we will build him a house. Probably a size 2 or 4 since Chuey is about a size 1. Uncle James said we could get materials from his shop to build it with, or we could borrow those logs from Dana and build a log-cabin dog house."

He is sitting on the sidewalk outside my gate with Chuey and Rat-dog while we are talking. I am sitting on the sidewalk inside my gate and Kilo is beside me.

"If you make him a house and encourage him to start living here, then you have to watch out for him in a lot of other ways. For example, it is against the law for dogs to run loose. You have to keep your pet contained, which is in a fenced yard, and on a leash when it is out of the yard." At that point the dogs across the street started barking and Rat-dog and Chuey bolted through the driveway and across to the neighbor's house.

Camron - "There they go, breaking the law. But maybe just Rat-dog is breaking the law since Chuey doesn't have a home to stay at."

"Any dog that runs loose will be picked up and impounded, but the law is enforced against the pet owners. They are the ones considered to be breaking the law."

Camron - "Then Grandma and Grandpa are breaking the law. Mainly Grandpa. Grandma goes out and whistles for Rat-dog to come home all the time. And she can't run after him any more."

He then decided to visit his Grandmother for 30 minutes before we started the project. It has been 3 hours and he just called to say that he was sure 30 minutes was over. I don't really want to build a dog house, but will work on one of his projects before the day is over.

4 PM and Camron just caught me outside again. I haven't been avoiding him so much as.... - well, I guess I have been. Anyway this time I promised for sure that I would help him at 6 PM when it isn't so hot.

Camron - "Is this a different Gate?

"Yes. I moved the one from the back yard."

Camron - "I noticed that part of your fence is down."

"I've been fixing it."

Camron - "Your fence was broke?"

'No. I just decided to change it."

Camron - "When the sun is right there (pointing to the sky) I'll meet you here and we can work on the bionicals."

"We're not going to build a dog house?"

Camron - "We'll save that for when you are off work."

Hope I make it.

Gardening

When Camron and I were planting the lettuce and spinach he stated that now they have two weeds that he can eat. My sister said that today when they were working on the garden he finally ate one of the lettuce leaves and said, "not bad, but it needs some ranch dressing".

News from the World of a Child

Camron called earlier and said that he had a new robot and asked if I wanted to look at it. I did, and it was certainly "robotical", as he pointed out. Then I had to go back to work but have noticed him lurking my perimeter. He often parks his bicycle against my front gate and he seems to have several craft projects started on the sidewalk outside the fence. He just saw me walk through my back yard and said that he had to talk to me. I met him at the fence by the pond and he said that he has decided to have some of his friends sleep-over next Saturday and since he has a lot of stuff to do to get ready he needs my help.

Sure I'll help you get ready.

"Okay. I need you to be be in charge of the invitations, the sleeping bags, and the stamps. You need to make a black border around the edge of the invitations, then colorize them with some of my colors, and then paste them on the envelopes. You will also need to find sleeping bags for everyone, and you'll be in charge of the stamps."

Who are you going to invite? Why not only invite friends who have a sleeping bag?

"Well. Grandma has a sleeping bag so I can invite one friend who doesn't have one. Do you think third graders are too old?"

I started laughing at this point. He is carefully planning this event, and as I watch, he sincerely considers whether a third grader might be too old and out of place with his regular group of friends. I am thoroughly entertained.

A Day at Work (Ron - Don't worry. This is not about me.)

As Kilo and I were returning from our walk, Camron and my brother were leaving for work. This is the 6 hour day and covers probably 250 miles, with over half on poorly maintained dirt roads. My brother takes care of several leases, and today was a sort of check everything day. I talked to him a few minutes ago and he said that Camron thought it was mostly great. Most of the leases have stairs built up the firewall and down the other side and Camron noted, "you have a cool job. You get to climb these stairs every day." By about the 4th lease he was already almost a pro at stair climbing, and ran ahead of my brother to them. As he landed on the bottom step he disturbed a large rattlesnake that was under it. It rattled, then ran away instead of attacking the humans the way they usually do (not really) but he was impressed. He wanted to go and lock himself in the truck for the rest of that stop.

1st Actual Day of Summer Vacation

Camron is just starting to answer, and use the telephone, which is kind of odd considering how adept he is with all other communications technology, but anyway he must have gotten my unlisted number for a graduation from the first grade present because he has called several times over the last couple of days. He says, "Uh, meet me outside/at the pond, I have something to show you." Today it was a new little robot. I asked him what he did today.

"Went to town, went to the doctor, ate, bought a robot, and now this."

Did you help your mom with the baby?

"I gave her a bottle. They won't let me change her. I don't want to change her."

Then I heard the story of how he found Little Robot in Wal-Mart and bought him for only $4.00, and,

"Remember how jealous Kujo/Kilo was when Buddy came? Well, Big Robot feels the same way. I have to watch them all the time or Big Robot will destroy Little Robot."

Why do they have to fight all of the time? Big Robot is way to violent.

"Because that's all they know how to do. Look at his arms. They're made out of guns."

Why don't you teach them how to do something like - play golf?

"I could do that, but I would need some really little golf clubs and a really little golf ball. And the good news is, it's Little Robot's birthday tomorrow and you're invited. Be at the pond at three o-clock. I'll provide the decorations and you provide the cake."

Okay.

"He wants a lug-nut cake. It's his favorite kind and be sure and wrap his presents real tiny. Oh and Kenneth, you might think about buying him some little hands. He can't hold a golf club with those two paddles."

Why hadn't I noticed something so obvious?

"And the other thing is, Big Robot's birthday is three days after Little Robot's and he wants a missile launcher."

At this point, somewhere deep within me, the certified, licensed teacher monster comes to life and places a we must refuse casual violence obstacle in front of him.
And I might, some day, if he ever changes his ways. Right now he is being a bully and I'm not buying him something he can use to torture Little Robot with.

The child slides right past it with barely a glance.
"Don't worry. He will be good for one of those so you might as well buy it."

All of it sort of made me wonder, if we had knife blades for fingers and rocket launchers and guns for arms and hands, how would we behave with each other? I guess the robots are doing the best they can with the appendages they have.

My brother has decided to take Camron to work with him, maybe often, but tomorrow for a first time trial run.

And the faithful watch-dogs participated.

Robots

Camron just called and asked me to come outside and see his new robot. I met him on the sidewalk outside my front gate. He has named this one Catastros, because it is kind of Spanish, and it sounds like catastrophe. There are five more in the series and when he gets all of them they will have robot wars. When I asked him why robot wars, he said that is what robots do - they fight each other constantly to see which one is the toughest. I told him that it seems kind of ridiculous to do nothing but fight, and he decided that maybe we could teach them to do other things. We both sat and thought for a while.

"We could teach them to play golf. Then we could just sit back and relax and watch them hit the golf balls and walk around the pasture."

There are already people who do that. They play golf and the rest of us watch them.

"But this would be robot golf. And we could bet and make probably a thousand dollars. Enough to build a castle and get a plasma screen television for each room. You can just hang them on the wall."

Have you ever seen a plasma screen television?

"Sure. On television. And if the robots used exploding golf balls, that would be robot golf fighting."

I wonder if he notices that I hardly ever stop laughing when we talk?

Summer Vacation

Camron started Summer vacation today at noon. He received two awards at the end of year ceremony, one for sportsmanship, and one for academic excellence. He has plans for tomorrow but wanted to know if I would help him build a robot on Sunday.

I will make time for something that interesting. He is already becoming quite a playdough artist.

Now I Remember What I Was Running From

This morning I went walking at 6AM, and Camron was already at the bus stop. I mentioned that he was two hours early for the bus but he seemed to think that the bus might come early since his class was going swimming.

He mentioned that his teacher had read his web log and knew several more things about Black Bool Ants. For one thing, Black Bool Ant Zombies are almost impossible to get rid of, and apparently, about the only things they fear are Giant Robot Scorpions. When I mentioned that I thought all but one of the Black Bool Ants were peaceful, even helpful creatures, he said that they were, until a few days ago when the Zombies started kidnapping them.

He then brought out his sword collection.

Slow Day

Camron was sort of left to entertain himself today. When he could find me he kept asking, "so what are we going to do?" We'll plant green beans tomorrow and maybe neutralize the disappointment of today.

Spaceships and Rocketslides

Camron wanted to continue the spaceship voyage today but I didn't have the energy. He hung out at his swing while I planted onions in his grandmother's garden, then we sat by the waterfall and talked for a while. I asked, "what have you been doing lately?"

"I was playing in the sprinkler and got all wet, and then had to change clothes which is why I'm in all camouflage except for my spiderman shoes, and now, there's this.

Have you seen any of the frogs lately?

"No I haven't, and I think they may have moved to the pond by the Lovington Industrial Park. Trust me, the Industrial Park is great. It has a rocket slide, two floors up. And you will not be happy when you have to go home.

In Search of the Golden Bone of Power

Today's activities seemed to be a cooking show from onboard a pirate spaceship that was engaged in searching for a treasure on some far away planet. I had invisible playdough meat loaf, chocolate cake, and tea (all of which cooked up quickly. 1 minute for the chocolate cake). In between courses, Chef Silver(?) used a special instrument to search for a treasure. This artifact was located at the center of the planet and I'm not quite sure how it was retrieved, but it happened between the cake and the tea. It seems to have unknown magical/mystical powers, and the dogs are really interested in it also.

The two small dogs seem to complete Camron's current state. Rat-dog has always generally ignored him, then Chuey moved in. We tried to make him go away for weeks, and he does late at night, but is here at sunup. From the beginning he has waited with Camron for the bus and shadowed his every outside move, and now both dogs do. The three of them run, and jump, and make intense boy/dog noises. For the most part I hate fun, but I enjoy watching them have fun together. Aside from the tools and toys that they scatter everywhere, it reminds me of the Van Morrison song, Redwood Tree.

Something Else About Playdough

"You can make a mouse."

Monday Afternoon

"Hey. I didn't know you were out here."

Well did you know it's raining?

"I'm playing golf no matter how much it rains."

Sunday Golf

Camron has been waiting in James and Dana's driveway since 10 AM, ready to play golf. James finally came in from work about 5 PM, and first we went to the city park, then to the driving range. It was hot, but interesting. Camron found enough tees to "last a life-time". After walking 150 yards, twice, Camron decided that there was entirely too much walking involved. We did have fun.

Friday Afternoon Encounter at the Pond Chairs

What did you do in school today?

Just the regular, but we saw a play.

What was the name of it?

I don't know, but there was a murder, and wine, and poison, and peanut butter, and a girl who couldn't stop dancing. It was really funny. The cook did it. And the two girls found a secret passageway to their bedroom that was used by someone famous like George Washington.

Oh, do you remember that picture of the mushroom man that I made? You can have it.

Thanks. I'll pay you a dollar for it.

That's good because then next Friday I'll have enough money to buy a pickle and a coke.

A what?

A pickle and a coke. Two things for one dollar.

A real pickle?

And a real coke.