Gardening

When Camron and I were planting the lettuce and spinach he stated that now they have two weeds that he can eat. My sister said that today when they were working on the garden he finally ate one of the lettuce leaves and said, "not bad, but it needs some ranch dressing".

News from the World of a Child

Camron called earlier and said that he had a new robot and asked if I wanted to look at it. I did, and it was certainly "robotical", as he pointed out. Then I had to go back to work but have noticed him lurking my perimeter. He often parks his bicycle against my front gate and he seems to have several craft projects started on the sidewalk outside the fence. He just saw me walk through my back yard and said that he had to talk to me. I met him at the fence by the pond and he said that he has decided to have some of his friends sleep-over next Saturday and since he has a lot of stuff to do to get ready he needs my help.

Sure I'll help you get ready.

"Okay. I need you to be be in charge of the invitations, the sleeping bags, and the stamps. You need to make a black border around the edge of the invitations, then colorize them with some of my colors, and then paste them on the envelopes. You will also need to find sleeping bags for everyone, and you'll be in charge of the stamps."

Who are you going to invite? Why not only invite friends who have a sleeping bag?

"Well. Grandma has a sleeping bag so I can invite one friend who doesn't have one. Do you think third graders are too old?"

I started laughing at this point. He is carefully planning this event, and as I watch, he sincerely considers whether a third grader might be too old and out of place with his regular group of friends. I am thoroughly entertained.

A Day at Work (Ron - Don't worry. This is not about me.)

As Kilo and I were returning from our walk, Camron and my brother were leaving for work. This is the 6 hour day and covers probably 250 miles, with over half on poorly maintained dirt roads. My brother takes care of several leases, and today was a sort of check everything day. I talked to him a few minutes ago and he said that Camron thought it was mostly great. Most of the leases have stairs built up the firewall and down the other side and Camron noted, "you have a cool job. You get to climb these stairs every day." By about the 4th lease he was already almost a pro at stair climbing, and ran ahead of my brother to them. As he landed on the bottom step he disturbed a large rattlesnake that was under it. It rattled, then ran away instead of attacking the humans the way they usually do (not really) but he was impressed. He wanted to go and lock himself in the truck for the rest of that stop.

1st Actual Day of Summer Vacation

Camron is just starting to answer, and use the telephone, which is kind of odd considering how adept he is with all other communications technology, but anyway he must have gotten my unlisted number for a graduation from the first grade present because he has called several times over the last couple of days. He says, "Uh, meet me outside/at the pond, I have something to show you." Today it was a new little robot. I asked him what he did today.

"Went to town, went to the doctor, ate, bought a robot, and now this."

Did you help your mom with the baby?

"I gave her a bottle. They won't let me change her. I don't want to change her."

Then I heard the story of how he found Little Robot in Wal-Mart and bought him for only $4.00, and,

"Remember how jealous Kujo/Kilo was when Buddy came? Well, Big Robot feels the same way. I have to watch them all the time or Big Robot will destroy Little Robot."

Why do they have to fight all of the time? Big Robot is way to violent.

"Because that's all they know how to do. Look at his arms. They're made out of guns."

Why don't you teach them how to do something like - play golf?

"I could do that, but I would need some really little golf clubs and a really little golf ball. And the good news is, it's Little Robot's birthday tomorrow and you're invited. Be at the pond at three o-clock. I'll provide the decorations and you provide the cake."

Okay.

"He wants a lug-nut cake. It's his favorite kind and be sure and wrap his presents real tiny. Oh and Kenneth, you might think about buying him some little hands. He can't hold a golf club with those two paddles."

Why hadn't I noticed something so obvious?

"And the other thing is, Big Robot's birthday is three days after Little Robot's and he wants a missile launcher."

At this point, somewhere deep within me, the certified, licensed teacher monster comes to life and places a we must refuse casual violence obstacle in front of him.
And I might, some day, if he ever changes his ways. Right now he is being a bully and I'm not buying him something he can use to torture Little Robot with.

The child slides right past it with barely a glance.
"Don't worry. He will be good for one of those so you might as well buy it."

All of it sort of made me wonder, if we had knife blades for fingers and rocket launchers and guns for arms and hands, how would we behave with each other? I guess the robots are doing the best they can with the appendages they have.

My brother has decided to take Camron to work with him, maybe often, but tomorrow for a first time trial run.

And the faithful watch-dogs participated.

Robots

Camron just called and asked me to come outside and see his new robot. I met him on the sidewalk outside my front gate. He has named this one Catastros, because it is kind of Spanish, and it sounds like catastrophe. There are five more in the series and when he gets all of them they will have robot wars. When I asked him why robot wars, he said that is what robots do - they fight each other constantly to see which one is the toughest. I told him that it seems kind of ridiculous to do nothing but fight, and he decided that maybe we could teach them to do other things. We both sat and thought for a while.

"We could teach them to play golf. Then we could just sit back and relax and watch them hit the golf balls and walk around the pasture."

There are already people who do that. They play golf and the rest of us watch them.

"But this would be robot golf. And we could bet and make probably a thousand dollars. Enough to build a castle and get a plasma screen television for each room. You can just hang them on the wall."

Have you ever seen a plasma screen television?

"Sure. On television. And if the robots used exploding golf balls, that would be robot golf fighting."

I wonder if he notices that I hardly ever stop laughing when we talk?

Summer Vacation

Camron started Summer vacation today at noon. He received two awards at the end of year ceremony, one for sportsmanship, and one for academic excellence. He has plans for tomorrow but wanted to know if I would help him build a robot on Sunday.

I will make time for something that interesting. He is already becoming quite a playdough artist.

Now I Remember What I Was Running From

This morning I went walking at 6AM, and Camron was already at the bus stop. I mentioned that he was two hours early for the bus but he seemed to think that the bus might come early since his class was going swimming.

He mentioned that his teacher had read his web log and knew several more things about Black Bool Ants. For one thing, Black Bool Ant Zombies are almost impossible to get rid of, and apparently, about the only things they fear are Giant Robot Scorpions. When I mentioned that I thought all but one of the Black Bool Ants were peaceful, even helpful creatures, he said that they were, until a few days ago when the Zombies started kidnapping them.

He then brought out his sword collection.

Slow Day

Camron was sort of left to entertain himself today. When he could find me he kept asking, "so what are we going to do?" We'll plant green beans tomorrow and maybe neutralize the disappointment of today.

Spaceships and Rocketslides

Camron wanted to continue the spaceship voyage today but I didn't have the energy. He hung out at his swing while I planted onions in his grandmother's garden, then we sat by the waterfall and talked for a while. I asked, "what have you been doing lately?"

"I was playing in the sprinkler and got all wet, and then had to change clothes which is why I'm in all camouflage except for my spiderman shoes, and now, there's this.

Have you seen any of the frogs lately?

"No I haven't, and I think they may have moved to the pond by the Lovington Industrial Park. Trust me, the Industrial Park is great. It has a rocket slide, two floors up. And you will not be happy when you have to go home.

In Search of the Golden Bone of Power

Today's activities seemed to be a cooking show from onboard a pirate spaceship that was engaged in searching for a treasure on some far away planet. I had invisible playdough meat loaf, chocolate cake, and tea (all of which cooked up quickly. 1 minute for the chocolate cake). In between courses, Chef Silver(?) used a special instrument to search for a treasure. This artifact was located at the center of the planet and I'm not quite sure how it was retrieved, but it happened between the cake and the tea. It seems to have unknown magical/mystical powers, and the dogs are really interested in it also.

The two small dogs seem to complete Camron's current state. Rat-dog has always generally ignored him, then Chuey moved in. We tried to make him go away for weeks, and he does late at night, but is here at sunup. From the beginning he has waited with Camron for the bus and shadowed his every outside move, and now both dogs do. The three of them run, and jump, and make intense boy/dog noises. For the most part I hate fun, but I enjoy watching them have fun together. Aside from the tools and toys that they scatter everywhere, it reminds me of the Van Morrison song, Redwood Tree.

Something Else About Playdough

"You can make a mouse."

Monday Afternoon

"Hey. I didn't know you were out here."

Well did you know it's raining?

"I'm playing golf no matter how much it rains."

Sunday Golf

Camron has been waiting in James and Dana's driveway since 10 AM, ready to play golf. James finally came in from work about 5 PM, and first we went to the city park, then to the driving range. It was hot, but interesting. Camron found enough tees to "last a life-time". After walking 150 yards, twice, Camron decided that there was entirely too much walking involved. We did have fun.

Friday Afternoon Encounter at the Pond Chairs

What did you do in school today?

Just the regular, but we saw a play.

What was the name of it?

I don't know, but there was a murder, and wine, and poison, and peanut butter, and a girl who couldn't stop dancing. It was really funny. The cook did it. And the two girls found a secret passageway to their bedroom that was used by someone famous like George Washington.

Oh, do you remember that picture of the mushroom man that I made? You can have it.

Thanks. I'll pay you a dollar for it.

That's good because then next Friday I'll have enough money to buy a pickle and a coke.

A what?

A pickle and a coke. Two things for one dollar.

A real pickle?

And a real coke.

Thursday Afternoon

I was in my swing watching the birds as the sun was going down and noticed Camron in his swing by the pond. He was having a fairly tremendous conversation so I walked over to see if he wanted to practice some to get ready for our golf game on Sunday. He did and we played until the sun set, then went over to try out the chairs that we painted yesterday evening. While we were admiring the paint job he asked if I wanted to hear two scary stories that his best friend Daniel had told him. I said that I would.

The Ghost in the Pond
Once upon a time there was a pond, and it was exactly the same size as ours, and right in the middle of it on the bottom lived the ghost of a man who had drowned. At night he would go haunting, and go into houses and take televisions, and wheel barrows, and especially Bar-b-que grills. And he would take them back down to where he lives. And the only thing that will stop him is if we put a gate up within the next three years.
"Why three years?"
Because he died in 1996, and 2009 makes it 3 years after 10 years.
"I see."
So as long as we put a gate up across this part of the pond before three years is up he won't come and haunt us. And it doesn't matter what kind of gate we put up - wood, or metal, or any kind of gate will stop a spirit.
"How about string?'
That won't work because they have spirit scissors. And they can see right through a movile home.
He understands genomes, and movile homes.

And the second scary story that my friend told me is.

The Guy With the Bazooka
In 5 years the guy who was killed with a bazooka in his hand and was buried where the propane tank is now, will come back, if we don't have a gate up.
"I have lived in this house for over 40 years and don't recall a guy with a bazooka ever having been killed and buried there."
It was long before you were born. Daniel read about it. He is smart. He even knows what 10 times 10 is. So do I, 100, but tomorrow I'll ask him to tell me some more scary stories.

Chef Camron Cooking Show

Camron came to the fence and invited me to the Chef Camron Cooking Show. Today he will show how to make a birthday cake using playdough.

First - Roll it into a ball.
Second - Squish it down.
Then flip it over and do the same thing.
Squish the roll up into a ball again, then pat it down. Start smashing it onto something that is hard, like a tree stump.
Flip it over.
If you don't want to use candles you can use sticks, and then "Voila! A playdough birthday cake! And guess what? Once you leave it under the moon it turns dark green."

(Where does he hear those words?)

"Oh yes. Nobody is going to really eat a playdough cake. Tomorrow we will learn another thing about playdough."

(To keep the program going I ask him what is going on with the fish. We have found a couple of dead ones lately.)
"Well, did you know that if you don't help the environment by cleaning up the trash and keeping the air clean, then in the future you will have to live under the ground. And trust me, all you will need there is a flashlight and lots of water. Did you hear the part about the dirty water? Well, it goes from this environment (pointing to the pond) down. We have to catch all of those dead fish. So this is all I have to say. If you don't help the environment you will have to live under the ground. That's all you need to know, so pass it around."

Endlessly Creating

Today I was working on the herb garden and as Camron walked by he said, "I'm creating a plate that will last forever. I'm making it out of Playdough and it never gets hard so it won't ever break." It was round and flat, and sort of plate shaped. I could see several potential flaws, such as how it might react to hot food, but agreed with him that it might work.

Circus Day

Camron has invited me to his Circus at 7 o'clock sharp. There should be tumbling, jumping, and magic and I hope to get pictures.

Sunday

"I guess you know that I've been trying to turn a leaf into a peanut?"

"No, I really didn't know about that. How is it working?"

"Not very well. I probably don't have the right genomes."

This conversation caused me to laugh almost helplessly. In fact, I spend a lot of time with him because he makes me laugh helplessly. He, honestly, and using every bit of magic, showmanship, technology, specific liquids and minerals, and even pieces of wood, tries to create laser beams, dig caves, fly, communicate with plants and insects, build time machines, change leaves into food, and play with a great number of invisible, superpowered people and animals.

The main reason he had to find me on Sunday was to warn me about the Black Bool Ants and show me the official picture. They are 10 feet tall, have pinchers on both ends (one deadly, one merely painful), and fight snakes. He told me that there are around 200 near each town on the desert and this particular one seems to live in the vent hole on their trailer house underpinning. He then asked how tall I was and when I said 6'3" and that 10' was almost twice as tall, he added that they are 10' tall, but almost invisible. By the time we got back to his house he said that out of the million or so Black Bool Ants (I think he means what the rest of us know as Bull because these ants seem to spend time fighting Bull Snakes), the one that lives under his trailer is the only one that has gone bad. We talked some more and he decided he wants a web site so that he can tell all of the other kids about these creatures. I think it is a good idea and have decided to assist him.